Ha! That will teach all those fair weather fans who thought they’d go to an exciting game of playoff soccer a valuable lesson.
No way they’ll be back again next season and that means shorter lines at the concession stands for the more loyal supporters among us.
It does sometimes feel as though Carl Robinson has never seen a big game against a Cascadian rival in which he doesn’t want his team to fold up within themselves like an armadillo with anxiety issues and so it proved in the 0-0 tie with the Seattle Sounders at BC Place on Sunday evening.
A different coach may have decided to build on the exciting 5-0 win in midweek and a different coach may have decided to make use of the sellout and lively home crowd to send his team out all guns blazing for the first twenty minutes at least in an attempt to turn the home stadium into a cauldron of passionate fervour.
But Robinson isn’t that kind of coach and so we got the safety first approach we have grown to know and tolerate until it soon became painfully clear that neither team was going to take any real risk going forward at all.
Certainly without Reyna or Mezquida on the field Fredy Montero was back to his splendid isolation, staring in wonder at aimless high balls launched in his vague direction from somewhere in the back four.
Tony Tchani once again looked like a man who could walk into an Apple Store without being noticed and Brek Shea played like somebody who had never seen a football until the first whistle blew.
On two separate occasions he was literally knocked over by the ball. I mean, kudos for the much needed comedy interludes but he’s on a DP salary!
And yet for all that ineptitude a goalless draw may not be that bad a result and maybe Robinson was thinking back to the playoff series against Portland two seasons ago when he played for the same result in Portland but then got burned by the away goal back at BC Place?
One good set-piece, one Seattle error and Vancouver are very much in the box seat on Thursday evening.
But it’s just that sometimes it would be nice to have a coach who wasn’t quite so prosaic, wasn’t quite so afraid of letting his players play and wasn’t quite so entangled in the belief that both him and his team are overcoming insurmountable odds in every game.
A coach who wanted his team to rise to the big occasion every once in a while and not suffocate it under the pillow of a crowded midfield.
Of course we long suffering supporters aren’t the ones who really need the sympathy tonight; that should all be directed toward whoever has to put together the twenty-minute highlight package for that game (or even the four-minute highlight package to be honest).
Spare a thought for their souls.
Time for the Soccer Shorts play ratings.
Marinovic-5.5, Nerwinski-5.5, de Jong-5.5, Waston-5.5, Parker-5.5, Ghazal-5.5*, Tchani-5, Shea-3, Bolaños-5.5, Montero-5.5