Well, it finally happened.
The Vancouver Whitecaps finally got to play a team who could somehow mess things up even more than they could.
But what a series of punches and counter punches it was.
THWACK! The Colorado Rapids defend terribly to allow Fredy Montero through on goal. He slots home calmly.
CLUNK! The Rapids defend terribly once more to allow Montero to set Lucas Venuto up to score from one yard out.
BLONK! With the Whitecaps looking comfortable Montero concedes a needless penalty kick. Former Whitecap Kei Kamara scores.
BLAPP! Montero pushes Brett Levis into Axel Sjoberg to concede another needless penalty kick. Kei Kamara scores again.
KERPLUNK! With the Rapids suddenly in control Diego Rubio slaps Doneil Henry in the face to earn a clear and stupid red card. Colorado are down to ten men.
FERSHAP! Lass Bangoura scores a well taken goal to give the Whitecaps an unlikely 3-2 lead. Joy on the Whitecaps bench is unconfined. But….VAR overturns the goal for offside and the score remains 2-2.
BFTIDJKD! Andy Rose latches on to a loose ball in the box to give the Whitecaps an unlikely 3-2 lead. Joy on the Whitecaps bench is very much confined until the goal is definitely given.
JERZOW! After six minutes of stoppage time the referee blows the final whistle and the Whitecaps receive a much needed three points.
I’m not sure it’s possible to make any coherent analysis of that game (“No change there then.” Mumbles the reader with unnecessary bitterness).
But the quick takeaways.
Montero can still score goals and play a part this season.
Lass Bangoura looks better than both Venuto and PC in the wide role.
Andy Rose showed the value of having a midfielder who was happy to get into the box.
The Whitecaps continue to defend well while simultaneously being incredibly stupid at times.
Time for the Soccer Shorts player ratings.
Crepeau-6, Nerwinski-6, Adnan-5, Henry-6, Godoy-6*, Erice-5.5, Teibert-4.5, In-Beom-5, Bangoura-6, Venuto-5, Montero-6 (Levis-4)
Soccer Shorts (The Director's Cut) 