The best thing on the internet this week, possibly the best thing on the internet ever, was the wildlife camera footage of a coyote and a badger using a culvert to cross a major highway.
Apparently it is common for the two species to hunt together, but reading the phrase “Badgers and coyotes sometimes work together to hunt.” is a very different experience than seeing the relationship in action.
Because this isn’t just some random coyote calling some random badger to hurry up because there are things to do. This is a particular coyote calling a particular badger to hurry up because there are things to do.
There is, for the want of a better word, an established relationship between the two and while we must always avoid anthropomorphism in circumstances such as this it’s hard not to think that these two critters can’t teach us all a valuable life lesson.
The lesson that if you find the right partner in life it doesn’t really matter how ill suited you may appear, it doesn’t really matter what the world may think about your compatibility and it doesn’t really matter if similar relationships never seem to last for any length of time.
Because what really matters is that if you do find the right partner in life then you too can spend the dark nights searching for unsuspecting prey and killing it.
And is there any sport in the world in which the coyotes and badgers of this world can coexist quite as effectively as soccer?
A physical specimen like Ronaldo can compete with an unkempt waif like Messi for the title of best player in the world.
The speed of Henry can compete with the languid Zidane for the title of best French player ever.
And a giant of a man like Kendall Waston can compare with the diminutive Cristian Techera as both being competent Major League Soccer players.
And is there any other league ion the world in which the coyotes and the badgers are so very much coyote and badger as Major League Soccer?
A world superstar up front being fed through balls by a journey man midfielder. An international defender combining with a goalkeeper who barely makes enough money to afford a Compass card, or a World Cup winning number ten looking exasperated as a winger from Panama consistently fails to make the right runs.
We won’t really know what the Whitecaps coyote/badger ratio is until the season begins but, as of now, and judging from the (admittedly brief) pre-season performances, they are a 4-3-3 team being forced to play 4-2-3-1 due to the weaknesses in midfield.
If that isn’t remedied then we will probably be left with In-Beom playing too deep as one of the defensive two and a series of players who qualify as a “Yes, but he can actually play as a number ten.” selection.
There’s still time for that deficiency to be remedied, but not as much time as there used to be.
That’s just basic science.
Soccer Shorts (The Director's Cut) 