Soccer Shorts: Brave New World

People often come up to me in the street and say “Russell, we’re all aware that Soccer Shorts gets better with each passing season, but surely it can’t improve on the fantastic work you did last year?”

I laugh manically at this question and scream all the ways that Soccer Shorts will once again improve as they slowly back away.

And now, for you the reader, I’ll take the time to list just some of the game changing improvements you will see in 2022.

The Soccer Shorts NFT- After each game I will be auctioning off my match report as an NFT (bids are expected to start in the low ten thousands).

For those few who are not yet aware what an NFT is, it is quite simply a Non Fungible Token. Or, to put it even more simply, it is a token that can’t be funged.

If demand proves high enough I also plan to release tokens that can be funged.

Watch this space!

The Soccer Shorts Substack- Tired of being told what to think about the Whitecaps by the lame stream media? Want to think for yourself and not let the tame stream media influence get in the way of that? Constantly angry at the way the meme stream media challenges your world view?

Then you sound like just the right sort of independent thinker who will love to subscribe to my Substack. Each week I will be delivering my newsletter in which I say all the things the game stream media don’t want to say.

Subscribe now!

Shortle- This terrific new puzzle game challenges you to guess the Soccer Shorts rating for a different player each week. But be warned! You only have six chances to get it right!

And for the puzzle aficionados out there, playing in “hard mode” means you won’t be able to use the same number twice.

Warning! Shortle may soon only be available to subscribers of The New York Times.

Shorttr- This innovative new social media app is for people who do their own research. If you’re tired of the so called “experts” with their stats and graphs and “facts” about a Whitecaps game, then head on over to Shortrr where like minded people have interesting things to say about how they felt about the game and nobody questions just what all those emojis in your profile are really alluding to.

Shortcoin- The soon to be launched Soccer Shorts crypto currency is a sure fire way to guarantee financial security in an ever changing world. Shortcoin’s value is exclusively linked to Russell Teibert’s Soccer Shorts player ratings (contractual agreement pending) thus ensuring a level of stability that other crypto currencies simply cannot match.

There will be more exciting innovations announced as the season progresses but you will undoubtedly think that this is already the greatest collection of ideas you have ever seen.

Stay tuned!

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