Soccer Shorts (The Director's Cut)

One of the great things about soccer is that even games of a low standard can be gloriously entertaining. Penalty box skirmishes, hilarious defending and professional athletes looking as physically coherent as drunken schoolchildren trying to trap an otter in an oil drum.

The Whitecaps recent victory in Colorado just about fits in to that category but what, if anything, can we extrapolate from that game?

Jake Nerwinski might be improving- Nerwinski started the season as a one man mishap factory, conceding penalty kicks on a regular basis and often looking as though he were still trying to figure out the precise dimensions of a football field.

But in the last few games he has looked far more reliable. Not great, but reliable enough for Whitecaps supporters to not catch their collective breath when he approaches an opponent in the penalty area.

He still doesn’t get forward enough and his delivery when he does get forward is still lacking in quality but he’s not the “first name on the team sheet to be worried about” anymore.

And maybe his game will grow even more the longer he plays opposite Ali Adnan?

Signing the Iraqi left back to a long term deal has to be the Whitecaps number one priority at the moment.

Does Erik Godoy exist?- Seriously. His name is always there in the lineup. He always gets a decent score in the gold standard of player ratings system. And yet we never see him from the first whistle to the last.

Have the Whitecaps circumvented the salary cap system by signing a ghost? A human riddle in shadow form?

That certainly doesn’t sound like the kind of thing they would do.

So we can only conclude that Godoy is just a very good central defender.

Weird.

Signing the the Argentinian to a long term deal has to be the Whitecaps number one priority at the moment.

The midfield is still a huge issue. Even at 2-0 up the Whitecaps were leaving huge gaps in the centre of the park for Colorado to run in to.

That’s partly down to Hwang In-Beom being completely unsuited to playing a deep role. The South Korean is too easily bullied off the ball and doesn’t seem to possess the vision to play the killer pass Vancouver all too often rely on.

But put him near the opposition penalty area and suddenly his speed of movement and one touch football is much more likely to produce results.

And Russell Teibert and Felipe are Russell Teibert and Felipe and there’s not much more we can say about that without falling into a pit of deep indifference.

Maybe Andy Rose will turn out to be key that unlocks the box that keeps the answers to all these questions within it?

But he probably won’t.

Signing the right midfielder has to be the Whitecaps number one priority at the moment.

Front three set? The Montero, Bangoura and Venuto combination was easily the most effective that Marc Dos Santos has yet put out.

Replacing Reyna’s pace in the middle with all out pace out wide allowed Fredy Montero to play his natural game of either dropping deep or sniffing out an opportunity.

But the Whitecaps will need more guile when they play teams who are more than happy to sit deep at BC Place.

Signing the right creative player who can open up tight defences has to be the Whitecaps number one priority at the moment.

 

Well, it finally happened.

The Vancouver Whitecaps finally got to play a team who could somehow mess things up even more than they could.

But what a series of punches and counter punches it was.

THWACK! The Colorado Rapids defend terribly to allow Fredy Montero through on goal. He slots home calmly.

CLUNK! The Rapids defend terribly once more to allow Montero to set Lucas Venuto up to score from one yard out.

BLONK! With the Whitecaps looking comfortable Montero concedes a needless penalty kick. Former Whitecap Kei Kamara scores.

BLAPP! Montero pushes Brett Levis into Axel Sjoberg to concede another needless penalty kick. Kei Kamara scores again.

KERPLUNK! With the Rapids suddenly in control Diego Rubio slaps Doneil Henry in the face to earn a clear and stupid red card. Colorado are down to ten men.

FERSHAP! Lass Bangoura scores a well taken goal to give the Whitecaps an unlikely 3-2  lead. Joy on the Whitecaps bench is unconfined. But….VAR overturns the goal for offside and the score remains 2-2.

BFTIDJKD! Andy Rose latches on to a loose ball in the box to give the Whitecaps an unlikely 3-2 lead. Joy on the Whitecaps bench is very much confined until the goal is definitely given.

JERZOW! After six minutes of stoppage time the referee blows the final whistle and the Whitecaps receive a much needed three points.

I’m not sure it’s possible to make any coherent analysis of that game (“No change there then.” Mumbles the reader with unnecessary bitterness).

But the quick takeaways.

Montero can still score goals and play a part this season.

Lass Bangoura looks better than both Venuto and PC in the wide role.

Andy Rose showed the value of having a midfielder who was happy to get into the box.

The Whitecaps continue to defend well while simultaneously being incredibly stupid at times.

Time for the Soccer Shorts player ratings.

Crepeau-6, Nerwinski-6, Adnan-5, Henry-6, Godoy-6*, Erice-5.5, Teibert-4.5, In-Beom-5, Bangoura-6, Venuto-5, Montero-6 (Levis-4)

 

Finally!

The Vancouver Whitecaps earned their first win of the season versus LAFC at BC Place on Wednesday with an impressive, if tad nervy, 1-0 win.

The second half was a little too “every hand on deck in defence” for anybody’s genuine liking but there were enough positives about the whole performance to convince that this team is still very much a work in progress rather than regress.

The front three of Reyna , Venuto and PC provided far more movement than we have seen thus far this season and Reyna gave easily the most accomplished central striker performance of the campaign. Winning headers, holding up the ball and linking well with his teammates.

And the insertion of In-Beom for Felipe in the centre of midfield gave the forward three much needed support (and produced an actual goal form an actual midfielder).

Ali Adnan was great again at left back and Jake Nerwinski had his best game of the year at right back.

And while it may be too soon to say that Henry and Godoy are becoming a reliable central defensive pairing they do at least provide a degree of comfort for the anxious viewer. With Godoy in particular being the unsung hero. Henry may be all last ditch clearances and rash tackles but Godoy has an ability to simply ease through the game unnoticed.

And a word for Jon Erice too.

The captain was subbed with about ten minutes to go and immediately became an additional coach on the bench, constantly leaping up to direct teammates where to run and who to close down.

In fact, the animation of the whole bench gave an indication of just how important this win was for the team; a psychological barrier overcome for sure.

If we wanted to be critical (and of course we do) we could point out the lack of composure in possession as the pressure increased, but that desperate desire for the first three points can be taken as a mitigating factor in this instance

And, once again, more clinical finishing would have made the game far less stressful for all concerned.

But this performance felt like something to really build on and we can all finally exhale with relief at seeing Marc Dos Santos obtain his first victory as coach of the Caps

Time for the Soccer Shorts player ratings.

Crepeau-6, Nerwinski-6, Adnan-6.5, Godoy-6.5, Henry-5.5, Ereice-5.5, Teibert-5.5, In-Beom-5.5, PC-5.5, Venuto-5.5, Reyna-6.5* 

 

 

Yesterday I produced the notes from my regular Saturday morning trip to see my analyst. Today, with his permission, I’ve added his own contemporaneous notations.

Due to circumstances beyond my control there will be no review of the Vancouver Whitecaps 1-1 tie with the Chicago Fire on Friday evening.

So, instead, I’ve decided to post the notes from the regular Saturday morning trip to see my incredibly expensive analyst.

Analyst: And how are we feeling this morning?

(As if I need to ask. The patient is clearly in an agitated frame of mind. But what will it be this time? MLS officiating, the Whitecaps inability to get a midfielder into an attacking position or, please no, a return to his debilitating obsession with Robbo).

Me: Fine.

Analyst: Oh dear, what’s the matter now?

Me: VAR.

Analyst: (sighing heavily) What’s happened this time?

Me: Well, the Whitecaps were winning 1-0 with about five minutes to go when, out of nowhere, the referee or the VAR official or somebody gave Chicago a penalty out of nothing. Then I spent the rest of the evening arguing with people on Twitter about whether it was a PK, what “clear and obvious” really means and the definition of a “missed incident”.

Analyst: We’ve spoken about this kind of behaviour before haven’t we?

(I find his search for answers and clarity within the confines of the world of Social Media both touching and bizarre. Why will he never go to his nice place?).

Me: Yes, yes yes.

Analyst: And what are you supposed to do in those situations?

Me: Go to my nice place.

Analyst: So why didn’t you?

Me: It’s weird because the vagaries of normal refereeing decisions don’t bother me. “Part of the game” and all that. But every VAR decision that’s even a little bit contentious sends me into paroxysms of incandescent fury.

Analyst: Why do you think that is?

Me: Well, I don’t know if I told you but I was against VAR even before it was introduced…

Analyst: Yes you did mention it (Looks at notes). That was in sessions fifty eight through eighty three.

(And what tedium those sessions brought upon me. Hour after hour of “What if?” scenarios until the patient began to twist himself into knots of internal logic. I had hoped that the introduction of VAR would have eased these thoughts but instead it appears to have accelerated them).

Me: Right. So I think there’s a part of me that feels a kind of vindication. I just want to shout “I told you this would happen!” at everything and everybody. But I think it goes deeper than that really.

Analyst: How so?

Me: I think VAR represents just one more way in which we as a society are getting our priorities wrong and looking for all the wrong answers in all the wrong places. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it matters not one jot whether Doneil Henry handled the ball but we waste time and energy and resources on deciphering exactly that. But genuine miscarriages of justice that destroy people’s lives barely register with us at all.

Analyst: So you think VAR is as a symptom of a sick society?

Me: No, I think VAR is the cause.

Analyst: That’s insane.

Me: Should you be using words like that?

(I probably shouldn’t but who cares? He is insane if he thinks that. I think I will tell him so and see how he reacts).

Analyst: If you think video review has created all the ills in society then I’m perfectly entitled to use such a word.

Me: Fair point.

(That went better than I thought it would).

Analyst: So what about the rest of the game? Talk to me about that.

Me: Well that’s kind of the point. The Caps didn’t really deserve the win. They were pretty awful, didn’t really look like creating anything from open play and the midfield was, once again, bereft of any creativity. I mean, I don’t think Russell Teibert has ever seen a back pass he didn’t immediately fall head over heels in love with.

(And always he comes back to Teibert’s passing. My working theory is that it has come to represent the patient’s own inability to move forward in his life and so every backward pass made by Teibert is a sharp sting of recognition toward the patient’s own failures).

Analyst: What have we said before about Teibert’s passing?

Me: (sighing). To let it go, to accept it.

Analyst: And with acceptance comes?

Me: Tranquility.

Analyst: Very good. So who played well?

Me: Nobody really. I guess they were defensively sound, but only because they sat so deep. And I don’t get why In-Beom is being played out wide. Or rather I do get it but it isn’t working. Asking him to drift inside to become an occasional number ten is nice in theory but we need him there all the time offering some kind of attacking threat because right now the opposition defenders only have Fredy Montero to worry about and he’s nowhere near his best form.

(He’s right about Montero but he’s so wrong about In-Beom. He needs to be playing as a central box to box midfielder not as a creative number ten).

Analyst: Still, a point on the road isn’t bad is it?

Me: I guess not, but it still feels like one step forward and one step back right now.

Analyst: Oh well, let’s hope they do better against LAFC on Wednesday evening.

Me: Ha!

Analyst: Right. That’s your time up I’m afraid. I think we made progress today. I’m sensing that you’re beginning to come to terms with your mistrust of VAR and with that comes acceptance.

Me: I don’t want to accept it!

Analyst: Yeah well tough luck because your time is up. Goodbye. Oh, but just before you go.

Me: Yes?

Analyst: Could you give me the Soccer Shorts player ratings?

Me: Sure.

(Always fascinating to see the patient judge others far harsher than he ever judges himself. I will be surprised if Teibert even gets above four).

Crepeau- 6*, Sutter-5.5, Adnan-5.5, Godoy-5.5, Henry-5.5, Teibert-4, Felipe-4, Erice 4.5, Reyna-4, In-Beom-4, Montero-3.5 

 

 

 

It’s not entirely clear if Ali Adnan is fully conversant with the karma surrounding the Vancouver Whitecaps and penalty kicks this season, but even a cursory knowledge of the genre would indicate that attempting a panenka in the first minute of a home game against the LA Galaxy wasn’t the best of ideas.

Yet try it he did.

And karma took a sideways glance at his attempt and metaphorically punched him hard in the metaphorical face.

Adnan played pretty well for the rest of the game but that feels a little like the old “Apart from that how was the play Mrs. Lincoln?” line as the Whitecaps slumped to a 2-0 defeat.

Ironically they played their best football of the season in the first half. Genuine passing and movement and even the odd glimpse of goal from open play.

But Fredy Montero had been left out for the more robust Joaquin Ardaiz and this felt like exactly the kind of game Montero had been waiting for (including the early PK) as Ardaiz got the support up front the Colombian has been sadly missing.

Ardaiz did okay. But his hold up play wasn’t stellar enough or his movement sharp enough to convince Marc Dos Santos that he should be a permanent starter in the team just yet.

The second half was fairly terrible for Vancouver.

It felt as though the half-time break gave them all time to reflect on the chances missed and suddenly the Galaxy were in control, chances were falling to Ibrahimovich and there was nothing the coach could do to turn it around.

Things aren’t going to get any easier in the coming weeks and it’s a fine line between developing a style of play and picking up points that Dos Santos has to tread.

But the biggest problem to solve remains the midfield.

Both Felipe and Teibert were neat with the ball but neither played a successful pass into the opposition penalty area (or even touched the ball in said space) and that issue has to be figured out sooner rather than later.

Maxime Crepeau has been good in a goal (spill to Ibrahimovich notwithstanding) but good grief he needs to be quicker with his distribution.

There were multiple occasions on Friday evening when a Whitecaps player was running into open space and desperately calling for the ball while Crepeau surveyed his options with all the lack of urgency of every single person who orders before me in a coffee shop.

The assumption has always been that Vancouver will splash more cash in the summer transfer window, but that will be throwing good money after bad if they can’t keep at least vaguely in touch with the playoff picture.

It’s still nowhere  near time to panic, but the pathway to a decent season is getting steeper and narrower with every missed opportunity.

Time for the Soccer Shorts player ratings.

Crepeau-5.5, Nerwinski- 4.5, Henry-5, Godoy-5, Adnan-5.5, Erice-5.5*, Teibert-5, Felipe-5, In-Beom-5.5, Bangoura-5, Ardaiz-5 (Venuto-5.5)

 

 

 

 

 

Every story has to be about something I suppose.

And perhaps the big story of the Vancouver Whitecaps goalless tie with the Seattle Sounders was that the Whitecaps bench had been moved significantly to the left.

Was Marc Dos Santos making some kind of subliminal point about the steady rightward drift of contemporary politics? That, no matter how many beasts slouch toward Bethlehem to be born, the Whitecaps will remain steadfastly on the side of good?

Or maybe he just wanted to be closer to the fourth official?

Hard to say really.

The game itself was by far the most promising of the Dos Santos era.

His team were (finally) defensively sound with Godoy and Henry being outstanding in the centre and Ali Adnan making an impressive debut at left back.

But the absence of In-Beom was felt in the centre of the field where both Felipe and Teibert kept the ball well but never with any meaningful forward momentum.

Maybe that’s partly down to the options available to them?

Fredy Montero was frequently left isolated and outnumbered and, even when he did receive the ball with his back to goal, was unable to hold up play long enough for his teammates to join him.

On the showings so far this season Ardaiz is the better option in the current system, strong and just about skillful enough to pose problems with the ball at his feet.

PC and Bangoura did decent work on the flanks but those areas only real came alive with the introduction of Lucas Venuto who showed a willingness to run directly at the Sounders defence with the ball at his feet.

And once again we are faced with the prospect of an impact sub making a case to start the next game.

The good news is that it creates healthy competition within the squad. The bad news is that it may well be the case that the Whitecaps have amassed a group of players who only function at their best as impact subs.

Time will tell.

Elsewhere it’s becoming clear that Jon Erice is a new type of captain for the Whitecaps.

He’s not in the “He’s the best player so make him captain” mold of Pedro Morales nor the “He shows a lot of passion so make him captain” mold of Kendall Waston.

Rather Erice seems to be Dos Santos’ voice on the field, directing the tactical nuances of the team as the match goes on. He’s an interesting player to focus on a for a few minutes of any game.

Overall this was a hugely promising leap forward for the Dos Santos era with signs that the players are buying into the system he is trying to sell.

And I guess we also have to mention VAR (sigh).

Say what you want about the excitement of a potential game winning penalty kick being awarded in the final minute of a Cascadia Derby but, for the paying customers, that pales into insignificance compared to the sight of a man holding his finger to his ear for several minutes before trotting over to a TV screen for another minute and then trotting back to announce that the penalty kick isn’t going to happen after all.

That’s entertainment!

Or maybe the officials saw Dos Santos’ clever attack on the current political culture and countered with their own?

A populace having their lives altered by a group of men using technology in a way that doesn’t quite fit the original remit says far more about modern society then simply moving a bench a few metres to the left.

Dos Santos must do better next time!

Time for the Soccer Shorts player ratings.

Crépeau- 6, Nerwinsky-5.5, Henry-6.5, Godoy-6.5*, Adnan-6.5 Erice-6, Teibert-5.5, Felipe-5, PC-5, Lass-5, Montero-4 (Venuto-6, In-Beom-5, Ardaiz-5.5)